Graphene oxide (GO) can be surface modified for various purposes, including enhancing its properties or tailoring its behaviour for specific applications such as biosensing. Herein we report the behaviour of a carboxylate functionalized graphene oxide that is both water repellent and electrically conductive. The GO is first produced using a modified Hummers method and then functionalized with a hyperbranched isostearic alcohol through an esterification reaction. The as-deposited functionalized GO films were observed to cause “petal-like” wetting of water, whereby droplets exhibited contact angles (CAs) greater than 150° and remaining pinned to the surface. To improve their conductivity, films of the functionalized GO deposited onto glass were laser-scribed to reduce some of the specific, adjoining regions of oxidic carbon to partially restore some of the sp2 C network. This improved the conductivity of the as-deposited GO films by approximately four orders of magnitude from 0.002 to ∼20 S/m using the low laser scan speed of 250 mm/min. It was observed that with a high laser scan speed of 500 mm/min some of the hydrophobic character was retained (CAs ∼110°), whilst maintaining conductivities of up to 0.17 S/m. Consequently, these materials show promise for applications such as biosensing materials, where tuneable hydrophobicity combined with conductivity are required characteristics.