This thesis began with a feminist curiosity about the act of self-silencing - where we hold back our thoughts, needs, or identities - and how this is shaped by the quality of our social interactions. With a desire to question dominant social norms and explore how our relationships affect our sense of self, I investigated the link between self-silencing and self-efficacy, which led me to the imposter phenomenon.

To delve deeper into this phenomenon, I conducted a case study with PhD researchers at the faculty of Industrial Design Engineering at TU Delft. What started as an exploration of imposterism among PhDs gradually unfolded into a broader investigation into the social and contextual factors that cultivate silencing, isolation, and a lack of space for authentic expression in academic life.

Rather than viewing imposterism as an individual flaw - where the burden is placed on the person to "fix themselves” - this thesis instead asks:
What is it about academia that makes PhD researchers feel like imposters?

Using a research-through-design and participatory approach, I conversed with eight PhD researchers to understand their lived experiences. After having open conversations and conducting spatial walkthroughs with them, I mapped out their experiences using the Matrix of Domination as a framework. This approach revealed the layers and nuances of their experiences across personal, communal, and systemic realms within academia.

This mapping process uncovered patterns in how imposter feelings and experiences are triggered at different social domains. The PhDs also shared what could act as catalysts to these feelings, creating a positive change to their social spaces. These insights illuminate how institutional culture, relational dynamics, and internalised expectations come together to shape feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and perceived judgment within PhDs.

These stories not only revealed what was missing or triggering, but also pointed toward what could be - social spaces where people feel seen, heard, and free to show up as themselves. It was from this place of insight and reflection that the project moved into co-creation and re-imagination. I designed a workshop as a way to create a space for self-expression and social connectedness. Two sessions were held with three PhDs in each workshop, where they made meaningful collages from old magazines. These collages represented speculative futures where academia was designed to cater for expression. Here, expression was framed not as “being your best self”, but as the ability to show up authentically in academic environments - to be able to say, feel and be who you need to be in the moment.

As a result of the collaborative workshops, six forms of expression were identified - bodily, emotional, creative, personalised, professional, communal. Each form reflected a different way participants longed to exist more authentically in academic spaces. The findings also revealed what inhibits expression - such as fear of

judgment or institutional pressures - and what enables it - like peer connection and personal rituals. PhD researchers wish to have space where they express themselves as the evolving individuals that they are - but are often constrained by academic cultures that prioritise productivity, detachment, and conformity over care, connection, and authenticity.

This thesis doesn’t propose a fixed solution. Instead, this research paves possibilities - for institutions to listen more deeply, for everyone to work collaboratively, and for PhD researchers to reclaim space for themselves and for each other. It contributes to the reimagining of academic spaces as sites not only of knowledge, but as spaces for expression, belonging and connection.